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I know this is going to be a controversial topic. Maybe that is way I took so long to write it. I am going to write it anyway because I think its important. I want to talk about miracles. Specifically faith healing. “Why?,” you ask? Because I’ve experienced people I don’t know trying to come up to me while I was minding my own business and trying to heal me. Then, look surprised when it didn’t work, the first was when my family was ordering food at a restaurant. It happened a second time while waiting for the bus at college. This is harmful to me as a a person. I am a person with a disability, that means that I need to cultivate and attitude of independence and non linear thinking. I need to be able to be able to think outside “The Box” in order to live the way circumstance says I must. It is exceedingly hard for me to do that if the society in which I must forge a life thinks that I need to be fixed in order to be happy.

I am a Christian. That means I believe that the creator of the universe became incarnate through the birth of Jesus of Nazareth in order to reconcile his creation to himself. I believe he was capable of doing all the things The Bible says he did. I have even asked him to heal me at times, when life seems hard and the simplest of tasks seems impossible. He has not, for reasons of his own, seen fit to do so.

It is precisely because of his decision that I believe I understand something. Jesus did not live so that he could wave his hand and wipe our problem away. We are after all called to love others as we love ourselves, Perhaps The lord allows problems in the world to give us opportunities to do that. Jesus’ purpose was to change people’s thinking about their God and themselves, and finally to give everything of himself so that people could live peacefully with themselves and their creator. The Lord does not see as man sees,” we are told in 1 Samuel 16:7 “Man looks only on the outward appearance, The Lord looks on the heart.” Jesus ministered a lot to the disabled his many acts of healing were meant to inspire those around him to think of them as God did, and still does, as people with a purpose.

I don’t understand why I must live this way. I certainly don’t like it, that’s true and sometimes, I wish things could be different. It would be easier for me to live this way if some people didn’t look at me and see someone who could be healed by simply laying on hands. I don’t want to preach to people, or tell them what to believe, but they’re when I wish I could tell those faith healers, if they were truly to see me with the eyes of God, they would have seen someone with purpose. I don’t know what my purpose is, but I do know that I’m not a magic trick.

Inclusion of people with disabilities is a concept that is simple to understand but very difficult to implement correctly. If inclusion is implemented correctly, everyone involved learns to work together in order to cultivate strength and overcome weakness. Seeds of empowerment will forever be planted in the heart. If inclusion is implemented incorrectly, weakness can smother strength and self esteem can wither in the burning heat of anger and self pity.

I’ve struggled with inclusion all of my life. Never more so then when I started college. I needed a lot of help to live in the dorm I couldn’t get in and out of bed on my own. So I often had to go to bed early which left little time for socializing in between classes, because I had to be put in bed when my aid could do it. Due to certain other physical differences, it took me longer to complete classwork. so I was working a lot. I felt that my disability erected a wall between me and my dorm mates that I had trouble breaking and I was sensitive about it.

My senior year, I was required to do a community service project. I was invited to go to a local church to fix burritos for the homeless. No one told us that this church wasn’t wheelchair accessible. I could get in the door but I couldn’t go downstairs to help make food. I remember the priest saying “Handicapped access is a problem for us, but if you stay here and tell people to go downstairs if they try to use the front door, it would be helpful.” I nodded as he locked the door.

This was not inclusion, this was a patronizing attempt to avoid embarrassment. If it wasn’t for the nice young woman who kept me company all night. I would have felt awful.

Since the church didn’t work, I went to a soup kitchen where I was able to work. I helped to peal potatoes and put things in salad. I did it slower than anybody there, but I felt like a part of things. I was there to help and I did.

All people, regardless of circumstance or ability, want to feel seen and heard. Its important for all people to feel included in the right way, for the right reasons.

Many characters can grow in the garden of literature, but, they can’t grow in a vacuum. Characters need a context in which to act, just like a flower need soil in which to grow. The world needs to make sense and be consistent. You need to describe the government, the people and the rules of their society and most important, the world needs to be understandable and unique. The world will throw villains and allies at the hero and they must grow organically from the context the world provides. The reader must become invested in this world. These are the most important things to know when building a setting for a story.

The purpose of a writer’s voice is to separate them from other writers, the same way a brand separates similar products in the marketplace. Editors look for writers with distinctive and unique voices because readers like unique and different spins on tried and true tales. So I need to find out what makes my voice unique and develop that. Any ideas on how I can further develop my unique voice?

I’m going to give you a little advice dear reader. I’ve made the biggest mistakes in my life because I tried to turn myself into something I thought the world wanted me to be. My most anxiety ridden moments happened because I thought that I needed to define myself by someone else’s standard rather than just living by my own. One of the things that writing has taught me is that I need to quiet myself, that is when I hear my characters voices most clearly. The point I’m trying to make is this. Happiness is a subjective state. What makes one person happy might not be true for another. The only person you need to please is yourself. When I tried to shape myself to reach somebody else’s standards, all I got was depressed. Shape your world. Don’t let the world shape you.

I’ve discovered something I’ve coined ‘The Badass Problem.’ I have a penchant for wanting my characters to be Badass; I want them to always know what to do and I want them to always come out on top. There’s a problem with that sort of thinking. Life just doesn’t work that way. People make mistakes and screw up. Sometimes they fail, sometimes they succeed. But they always grow, and they learn. Where’s the balance between reality and fantasy that must be judiciously observed so that the audience does not lose interest? That is ‘The Badass Problem.’

Any thoughts?

I want to talk about embarrassment. Its a hard thing with which to contend. We all have to deal with it many times in many situations. The trick to coping with embarrassment is to understand that it is an internal force. Embarrassment works by eroding the foundation of self-esteem. If a person is comfortable with themselves the actions of other people can’t embarrass them.

a couple of weeks ago, I went to the mall for coffee with a friend. I needed to wait. So I ran around the mall for a while. While I was doing that, three different children asked their parents What was wrong with me. Each of their parents chastised them loudly enough for me to hear. I was neither embarrassed nor offended by their question, in fact, I would have gladly answered them. The children asked their question because they saw someone who looked different and wanted to understand why, not because they wanted to cause pain or embarrassment.

If our society wants children to learn tact and discretion, they need to be given an opportunity to exercise and hone that skill. We also need to teach them that being different is alright. One of the ways we can do that is to indulge innocent childish curiosity. What do you think those kids learned by being chastised the way they were? They could have learned not to look at or speak with people in wheelchairs. They may ignore them in the future. That doesn’t make my life easier, and, more importantly, it won’t make their life easier either. It will only perpetuate their ignorance and fear. We need to let children be children, despite potential embarrassment. If we do that, life will be better for everyone.

Happy New Year Everyone!

I’ve had a relatively productive year. I am very proud of finishing a fifth draft of my manuscript and sending it to a Beta reader. Its hard for me to put myself out there like that. So, when I get up the nerve to show my work to someone, I feel proud. Writing has been challenging but its a challenge I can meet. What are some of your resolutions for 2106?