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I want to write about something hard. I want to write about something that I don’t like, something that many people don’t like, and rightly so, for it is hurtful and mean and should be eradicated from the human Lexicon. Unfortunately they’re a lot of words like that but the one I’m going to talk about is The R-Word, Retard.

Have you looked up the meaning of the word Retard? To retard means to slow, not stop, to slow. People seem to to think that if someone is mentally challenged they’re an idiot. That is simply not true, at all, in no way, shape, or form.

I remember being in the fourth grade and accidentally running my wheelchair into a wall because my school lunch room was too crowded. I hit the wall and people were trying to get around me. I remember a snide voice calling out, “Please let the little Retard go.” He wanted to leave the cafeteria I was unintentionally blocking the doorway. I confronted him and asked “Why did you call me that?”
“Because you’re helpless, you can’t even walk right.” Then, he walked away.

That experience broke me. It broke me. I was able to be put together again, but I never saw myself the same way after that. It hurt, it taught that being different can be hard, being different can hurt.

People can come in all different shapes and sizes We need to remember to raise people up, not tear them down.

Editing is an important part of any project. I don’t want to present my work to publishers until its the best it can be. Every reader to when I’ve sent it, has suggested improvements, most of which, I have agreed to and made. But how will I know when its ready to send out?

I used to be a web designer. Any one of them will tell that its important to have other people look at your site and notice the bugs before you put it on a live server. There’s a similar process that goes with writing. Several people have read my manuscript and each one of them have noticed new problems that need to be addressed. These suggestions force me to think critically about my work and turn in a better product.

When I was in school and writing academic papers, outlining was a necessary skill I coulo use to properly organize and structure information in my papers. But as I’ve begun to write fiction, I’ve noticed that too much outlining and structure can inhibit creativity. I’m not sure whether to outline or not. How do other writers feel about outlining?

When you look into an Abyss, the Abyss also looks into you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

I have little love for Nietzsche. The guy creeps me out. Be that as it may, he does posses fascinating dramatic insight. When he speaks of the Abyss, what he’s saying is that the evil we do, or contemplate doing, will alter and change us, sometimes, in ways we don’t expect.

As I writer, I have to look into the Abyss a lot. I must use the Drama I see in it to flavor my stories with excitement. I have researched things like murder and rape. I never thought I’d do that. It has brought me close to a dark side I didn’t know I possessed, but I have written dramatic scenes.

What do you see when you look in The Abyss?

What’s the difference between Science Fiction and Fantasy? How can we differentiate between the two genres? Well here’s what was told. Scifi is grounded in science and reality. It uses real concepts to propel plots. Fantasy is grounded in legend and the fantastic. The only limits placed on ideas in fantasy is whether they have an internal logical consistency. Do you agree with me, or not?

When I was about six years old, I was given an award by a teacher because I took my coat off. I don’t specifically remember what this award was, it might have been a cookie, The award itself is unimportant. What is important to note is that I was awarded for taking my coat off. Something I am able to do, if I remember that it needs to be done. None of the other children in class were praised or awarded for taking their coat off. It was expected of them and they did it. But for whatever reason this teacher, whoever it was, wasn’t used to a kid in a wheelchair taking off his own coat. I was singled out and highly praised, for doing something that all of my peers were expected to do as well. I don’t remember much about this incident, neither the name of the teacher, nor, the sort of cookie. I just remember being singled out, I probably felt happy I got a cookie, but there was also a sense of otherness, embarrassment, a reminder that I was not the same as my peers.

It hasn’t happened often, but sometimes, people want to praise me for doing regular normal things. I think they do it because they think life is harder for me because of my disability. Sometimes they’re right. A disability can make life harder but that doesn’t mean that I should be praised for doing simple things. I am a person, I should be expected to go out and do the things people do. Go out, make choices, face consequences, live.

I think, sometimes, that our society’s view of the disabled is somewhat distorted. We are either seen as a larger than life inspiration over coming great odds, or someone always in need of help from other people. I am neither of those. I am a person, and in my stories I try see. my characters, as people, the way I want to be seen, as people, neither objects of pity, nor inspiration.

The world can be hard for disabled folks, yes. But the world is hard on anyone. That is why its important to give our children a proper sense of themselves so that they can live in it and whether any storms that come their way. If any child is singled out for doing what they know they’re able to do, they might grow up with a sense of entitlement, but if they aren’t praised often enough it will be difficult for them to have faith in themselves. Its important to inspire people, but do it in the right way, for the right reasons.

Advocacy. If there’s been one thing that’s been drilled into me all of of my life its the importance of advocacy. Its true, for anybody doing anything, you have to advocate for yourself in order to get what you want.

Marketing a book involves a lot of advocacy. As I approach publishers, I need to be confident and genuine, and very clear about what need and my own expectations. Then, I have to be clear on their expectations of me and whether I can meet them. Searching for a publisher will certainly be an exorcize in advocacy.

Happy World Book day! 4/23/15 Reading is important! Be sure to do it a lot! 🙂

The quest for faith is a primal driving force that animates all of humanity. Faith is that special spark that gives us light in the darkness of an ignorant world. Human beings should always strive to increase their knowledge. I was taught that there are three kinds of knowledge; What we know, what we think we know, and, what we can prove. Faith gives us assurance that what we think we know is true, and, lights our way through the darkness of what we don’t understand. My purpose here is not to debate faith, or the validity of spirituality, I just want to explain why its important to my life, and maybe guess on its place in the world.

People in our society learn to glorify what is different at an early age. That’s a good thing, because it helps us to grow into kind, tolerant, intelligent, people. What some people don’t realize is that their is different, and, there is Different. Some differences are more deserving of a capital then others.

I was born with a physical disability,It effects everything I do, every moment of my life. That makes me Different from almost everybody with whom I interact on a daily basis. Sometimes, it seems that there is a wall between me and the world that nothing I do can break. Yet, I try anyway. Why? Because, if I did nothing, the wall would still be there. Maybe if I work at it I will finally understand why I am Different in the first place.

I have faith.